Oh look. It’s spring! The birds are ‘chirping’ and the leaves are budding. Hold on a sec there Boomer. Uh, no they’re not. I don’t know why the Weather Network insists on calling it spring, but personally, three feet of snow in my back yard and minus a billion degree weather does not constitute hauling out the lawn chairs and the old slip-and-slide. As a popular PEI joke puts it, we have 4 unconventional seasons, Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction. I’m no groundhog, but my bet is on a few more weeks of the former.
Todd Bertuzzi. Sigh. Really now, how many people in the media actually knew who he was before he hit Steve Moore? Forget that he’s an awesome hockey player and an all-around nice guy, I guess it takes a cheap hit nowadays to get any attention.
And what the hell is Regis Philbin doing flipping out about this? He’s probably never seen a hockey game in his life, he certainly never paid attention or talked about hockey before, and I doubt that he bothered to do some background research on the game or on Bertuzzi before he land basted him on his show. Listen Reg you don’t know what you’re talking about. Do us all a favor and stick to what you know, namely being an idiot and giving money away. CNN jumped on the bandwagon too, taking a break from spewing out propaganda to take a hit at Bertuzzi "The Goon." That’s the thing though, he’s not a goon. He’s a leading scorer in the NHL. He’s been an All-Star the last three years running. Sure, he’s 245 pounds and you don’t want that riding your back onto the ice, but the fact is, he made one bad decision in attempts to avenge Moore’s hit on Canuck’s captain Marcus Naslund. He deserves the suspension he got, but that does not automatically make him Adolf Hitler. One of the women on The View went as far as to compare what Bertuzzi did to Moore to the Vietnam War. THE VIETNAM WAR. Yeah. Pretty much the same thing. Three million dead versus a hockey players cracked bone. Wow. That’s not insensitive towards the people of Vietnam now is it? The View is stupider than I thought. And for all of you that are wondering, with all the over-blown reports of a "ruined life" and "near-death," Moore is expected to be back in his skate
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
...And now for something completely different: The Rants of a University Student (#09)
First of all, right to the most important news of the week: one headline in the perpetually accurate pages of the über-proffessional PEI Guardian read: Tignish tackles roaming sheep problem. Well it’s about damn time. Those menacing sheep have been terrorizing the good people of the West Prince region for far too long. It is good to see that PEI has finally become such an advanced society. If anyone saw the debate on bootleggers last week on Canada Now they know exactly what I’m talking about. Mediator Bruce Rainie: “Should bootleggers be banned on PEI?” Sporadic audience response: “NO!”
Since the UPEI Student Union announced that the PEI government could be reneging on a campaign promise to fund UPEI with an additional $1,000,000, a move that could see tuition sky-rocket next year, it has been discovered that the provincial government will not be cutting million-dollar funding to all organizations in Minister Mitch Murphy’s budget. Well yes, funding to UPEI will be cut, seeing as we’re not relevant to the economy at all and as the money has to go to more important places. Government sources have confirmed that $1,000,000 in funding will go ahead as planned to harness racing. Yes, we are being bested by a bunch of horsies. The money will contribute to race purses and the like so that Grandpa can keep betting on the ponies and gambling away his pension cheques away. Meanwhile students will be out this week after the budget looking for a third job to supplement their education. It’s nice to see where this government’s priorities are. And it’s not just tuition hikes that piss me off either. There are tons of things we could do with a million bucks. For starters, we could invest in a new door for the Student Centre. You know, on that doesn’t screw up every damn day. Secondly, the Sports Centre hasn’t had squash balls or badminton birdies for about a month now. Maybe a million dollars could help them out, because it seems as though our fees that we spend on the gm aren’t enough to afford a sustainable supply of $3 squash balls. Our road has a few potholes in it too. Of course by a few I mean about 16 billion. They’re getting pretty difficult to drive on, and maybe that just me, given my habit of navigating them at 120 kph, but I think we should maybe look at getting them fixed. Countries like Iraq make fun of roads like this you know. And maybe after that we could look at trying to rid Blanchard of the mice in the walls and Steele of the birds in the roof.
Sheik Ahmed Yassin, founder and religious leader of the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas was assassinated last week by the Israeli military, sparking international debate and creating an even more volatile climate in the Middle East. Yassin was a quadriplegic who had been confined to a wheelchair since the age of twelve and in recent years had suffered from muscular atrophy and almost complete blindness. Typical to the well-planned precision and covert strategy characteristic of most assassinations, Yassin was assassinated when an Israeli helicopter snuck up on him and fired three missiles at him. Three missiles. That’s like going fishing with depth charges. Come on now. I know he was a bad guy and everything, but I’m sire poison in his food or exploding cigars would have done the job just as well. Because, you know, nothing says subtle like a tomahawk missile to the head. I must commend them on their intelligence work also. According to their records, Yassin was born in either 1929 or 1938. Way to narrow it down! Morons.
Speaking of explosive situations (haha), apparently some of my comments in the Bathroom Edition Part II have been deemed as controversial and have pissed off some of the fine music students here at UPEI who have expressed a special interest in obtaining my head on proverbial silver platter. How my suggestion that they spend a lot of time in their building could possibly be misconstrued as an attempt by me to insult these good people is beyond my comprehension. I am sure that Steele is a wonderful building once you get to know it, and that eventually the faults of the bathrooms and the random caskets in the hallways just become like comforts of a home.
Regardless of this fact however, given that many music students have been offended by my comments, I feel that it is my duty as an objective journalist to hereby solemnly apologize for the grievous and regrettable plain and anguish that I have thoughtlessly and cruelly imposed upon them by publishing my horrendous opinions.
I hope that this clears up and division that my comments may have created between myself and my good friends of Steele Recital Hall. Please feel free to share any further concerns with me personally. That is, if you ever leave your building.
Have a good one!
Since the UPEI Student Union announced that the PEI government could be reneging on a campaign promise to fund UPEI with an additional $1,000,000, a move that could see tuition sky-rocket next year, it has been discovered that the provincial government will not be cutting million-dollar funding to all organizations in Minister Mitch Murphy’s budget. Well yes, funding to UPEI will be cut, seeing as we’re not relevant to the economy at all and as the money has to go to more important places. Government sources have confirmed that $1,000,000 in funding will go ahead as planned to harness racing. Yes, we are being bested by a bunch of horsies. The money will contribute to race purses and the like so that Grandpa can keep betting on the ponies and gambling away his pension cheques away. Meanwhile students will be out this week after the budget looking for a third job to supplement their education. It’s nice to see where this government’s priorities are. And it’s not just tuition hikes that piss me off either. There are tons of things we could do with a million bucks. For starters, we could invest in a new door for the Student Centre. You know, on that doesn’t screw up every damn day. Secondly, the Sports Centre hasn’t had squash balls or badminton birdies for about a month now. Maybe a million dollars could help them out, because it seems as though our fees that we spend on the gm aren’t enough to afford a sustainable supply of $3 squash balls. Our road has a few potholes in it too. Of course by a few I mean about 16 billion. They’re getting pretty difficult to drive on, and maybe that just me, given my habit of navigating them at 120 kph, but I think we should maybe look at getting them fixed. Countries like Iraq make fun of roads like this you know. And maybe after that we could look at trying to rid Blanchard of the mice in the walls and Steele of the birds in the roof.
Sheik Ahmed Yassin, founder and religious leader of the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas was assassinated last week by the Israeli military, sparking international debate and creating an even more volatile climate in the Middle East. Yassin was a quadriplegic who had been confined to a wheelchair since the age of twelve and in recent years had suffered from muscular atrophy and almost complete blindness. Typical to the well-planned precision and covert strategy characteristic of most assassinations, Yassin was assassinated when an Israeli helicopter snuck up on him and fired three missiles at him. Three missiles. That’s like going fishing with depth charges. Come on now. I know he was a bad guy and everything, but I’m sire poison in his food or exploding cigars would have done the job just as well. Because, you know, nothing says subtle like a tomahawk missile to the head. I must commend them on their intelligence work also. According to their records, Yassin was born in either 1929 or 1938. Way to narrow it down! Morons.
Speaking of explosive situations (haha), apparently some of my comments in the Bathroom Edition Part II have been deemed as controversial and have pissed off some of the fine music students here at UPEI who have expressed a special interest in obtaining my head on proverbial silver platter. How my suggestion that they spend a lot of time in their building could possibly be misconstrued as an attempt by me to insult these good people is beyond my comprehension. I am sure that Steele is a wonderful building once you get to know it, and that eventually the faults of the bathrooms and the random caskets in the hallways just become like comforts of a home.
Regardless of this fact however, given that many music students have been offended by my comments, I feel that it is my duty as an objective journalist to hereby solemnly apologize for the grievous and regrettable plain and anguish that I have thoughtlessly and cruelly imposed upon them by publishing my horrendous opinions.
I hope that this clears up and division that my comments may have created between myself and my good friends of Steele Recital Hall. Please feel free to share any further concerns with me personally. That is, if you ever leave your building.
Have a good one!
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
...And now for something completely different: The Bathroom Edition - Part II (#07)
(by Ryan Gallant and Adam Carragher)
Embarking on the inspection of more bathrooms, we didn’t really know what to expect from Steele Recital Hall. Admittedly, Adam and I have not made a habit of going into this building. In fact, prior to conducting our survey, we had entered Steele a grand total of, well, once, and that was back in High School. Steele is like the black-hole of UPEI or something. We saw students in there that we have never met, or at least have not seen in years. If we don’t receive hate-mail following this scathing report of Steele’s bathrooms, I bet that it is only because Music students have never heard of The Cadre, and likely are only vaguely aware that they are a part of UPEI.
Anyhow, we did venture into Steele, receiving many hostile looks that are obviously reserved especially for us ‘outsiders,’ and had a great deal of difficulty in even finding bathrooms. We were, however, able to locate a men’s washroom in a narrow hallway on the third floor, but only after passing, and I am not making this up, a casket in the corridor. Now I assume women are expected to "hold it in" as no facilities for them were anywhere to be seen, and given the state of this bathroom, perhaps guys will opt to hold it in as well. This bathroom, is pretty damn scary. First of all you’re not allowed to touch the light switch. A sign states this clearly, and with an abundance of caskets on hand, I wouldn’t mess with these people. The freaky instrumental music wafting through the walls and the holes where someone attacked the stall with a knife does not help. I have no idea why someone would take it upon themselves to stab a bathroom stall. My guess is that either someone is not entirely pleased with their decision to enter into a liberal arts program, or perhaps some crazed member of the custodial staff was pissed off that someone had touched his light switch. Other than that, this bathroom wasn’t all that bad, if you ignore the tiles falling apart on the floor, the window that does not open, and the toilets that flush completely at random. We got the hell out of there as fast as we could.
Stepping into the bathrooms of Kelley was like entering the bathroom of Willy Wonka himself, save for the absense of oopa-loompas. It was designed entirely in blue and is apparently stuck in a period sometime around 1965. Random holes in the wall complement the uni-colour motif of this ancient bathroom, as does the rust that ravages the stalls. I estimate that someone may have cleaned the floor sometime around 1972, but the floors have pretty much gone to waste since then. We thought that the chalkboard beside the urinals was kind of unsettling. Were classes actually taught in these facilities? Oh to be young in the 60s with all their crazy bathroom concepts, this one obviously conceived by lack of intelligence and excessive drug use.
Many students asked us to inspect Duffy’s bathrooms, and for good reason. They smell. Bad. We didn’t go into any girls bathrooms, but we’re told they are disgusting. The 3rd floor men’s washroom is missing lights, tiles, and key amenities, like soap. The designer of this bathroom was apparently colour-blind, and whoever built the counter lacks the most basic of carpentry skills. Adam said that this was easily the worst sink he had ever seen in his life. What this bathroom lacks in intelligent colour scheme, it makes up for with excessive amounts of dirt and rust accumulated in the sink. The oddest feature is the mirror, which is not located in its traditional position above the sink, but is rather unstrategically placed 10 feet down the wall towards the urinals. Those science student may be smart, but they sure as hell can’t design a bathroom.
We’ve received many complaints about many bathrooms on our travels, "Don’t you hate when people are drunk and they can’t aim and they puke in the bathroom at ‘The Wave’?" Uh yeah. Gross. "Have you ever noticed how bad Cass bathrooms smell? What’s the deal with those Engineering students anyway?" Yes, we were there, and no, we don’t know what the deal is with those engineering students.
The point is, it seems everyone has something to say on this issue. So if you have some complaint you’d like to add about bathrooms, or if you would rather that I just shut up about them, check the email address at the end of the column and make sure you let us know how you feel.
Since the first bathroom column was published, we have received mail from students who claim that they know what the worst bathroom is. I assure you, however, that you have no idea what you are talking about. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you Dalton Hall basement. This bathroom is the worst bathroom we have ever seen, and that’s saying a lot seeing as we both grew up in the sticks. I am confident that the technology and fixtures in this bathroom went up with the building when it was built back in 1914 and when it was built, it was done so with the smallest amount of effort possible. The bathroom, first of all, is hard to find. Its concrete floor was painted gray at some point, but has been chipping away for years. The single stall is made of plywood, yes, plywood, and contains a single broken toilet, complete with its own plunger and a handwritten sign telling users not to flush too much stuff down the toilet. The low ceiling has exposed pipes and wires hanging from it, and the single urinal comes complete with a drop bucket underneath it to collect any leaks. The exposed water pipe has been insulated with electrical tape, styrofoam and tinfoil. Multiple bottles are strewn around, including one spray bottle that is marked "Speedball." This is just one sight you’ll have to see for yourself. Although we had seen a lot of bad stuff in a lot of bathrooms, it was the bathroom in Dalton’s basement that we almost pissed ourselves laughing. In fact, I think both of us would have rather pissed ourselves laughing than be forced to utilize the facilities in this sad excuse for a washroom. Ugh.
Have a good one!
Embarking on the inspection of more bathrooms, we didn’t really know what to expect from Steele Recital Hall. Admittedly, Adam and I have not made a habit of going into this building. In fact, prior to conducting our survey, we had entered Steele a grand total of, well, once, and that was back in High School. Steele is like the black-hole of UPEI or something. We saw students in there that we have never met, or at least have not seen in years. If we don’t receive hate-mail following this scathing report of Steele’s bathrooms, I bet that it is only because Music students have never heard of The Cadre, and likely are only vaguely aware that they are a part of UPEI.
Anyhow, we did venture into Steele, receiving many hostile looks that are obviously reserved especially for us ‘outsiders,’ and had a great deal of difficulty in even finding bathrooms. We were, however, able to locate a men’s washroom in a narrow hallway on the third floor, but only after passing, and I am not making this up, a casket in the corridor. Now I assume women are expected to "hold it in" as no facilities for them were anywhere to be seen, and given the state of this bathroom, perhaps guys will opt to hold it in as well. This bathroom, is pretty damn scary. First of all you’re not allowed to touch the light switch. A sign states this clearly, and with an abundance of caskets on hand, I wouldn’t mess with these people. The freaky instrumental music wafting through the walls and the holes where someone attacked the stall with a knife does not help. I have no idea why someone would take it upon themselves to stab a bathroom stall. My guess is that either someone is not entirely pleased with their decision to enter into a liberal arts program, or perhaps some crazed member of the custodial staff was pissed off that someone had touched his light switch. Other than that, this bathroom wasn’t all that bad, if you ignore the tiles falling apart on the floor, the window that does not open, and the toilets that flush completely at random. We got the hell out of there as fast as we could.
Stepping into the bathrooms of Kelley was like entering the bathroom of Willy Wonka himself, save for the absense of oopa-loompas. It was designed entirely in blue and is apparently stuck in a period sometime around 1965. Random holes in the wall complement the uni-colour motif of this ancient bathroom, as does the rust that ravages the stalls. I estimate that someone may have cleaned the floor sometime around 1972, but the floors have pretty much gone to waste since then. We thought that the chalkboard beside the urinals was kind of unsettling. Were classes actually taught in these facilities? Oh to be young in the 60s with all their crazy bathroom concepts, this one obviously conceived by lack of intelligence and excessive drug use.
Many students asked us to inspect Duffy’s bathrooms, and for good reason. They smell. Bad. We didn’t go into any girls bathrooms, but we’re told they are disgusting. The 3rd floor men’s washroom is missing lights, tiles, and key amenities, like soap. The designer of this bathroom was apparently colour-blind, and whoever built the counter lacks the most basic of carpentry skills. Adam said that this was easily the worst sink he had ever seen in his life. What this bathroom lacks in intelligent colour scheme, it makes up for with excessive amounts of dirt and rust accumulated in the sink. The oddest feature is the mirror, which is not located in its traditional position above the sink, but is rather unstrategically placed 10 feet down the wall towards the urinals. Those science student may be smart, but they sure as hell can’t design a bathroom.
We’ve received many complaints about many bathrooms on our travels, "Don’t you hate when people are drunk and they can’t aim and they puke in the bathroom at ‘The Wave’?" Uh yeah. Gross. "Have you ever noticed how bad Cass bathrooms smell? What’s the deal with those Engineering students anyway?" Yes, we were there, and no, we don’t know what the deal is with those engineering students.
The point is, it seems everyone has something to say on this issue. So if you have some complaint you’d like to add about bathrooms, or if you would rather that I just shut up about them, check the email address at the end of the column and make sure you let us know how you feel.
Since the first bathroom column was published, we have received mail from students who claim that they know what the worst bathroom is. I assure you, however, that you have no idea what you are talking about. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you Dalton Hall basement. This bathroom is the worst bathroom we have ever seen, and that’s saying a lot seeing as we both grew up in the sticks. I am confident that the technology and fixtures in this bathroom went up with the building when it was built back in 1914 and when it was built, it was done so with the smallest amount of effort possible. The bathroom, first of all, is hard to find. Its concrete floor was painted gray at some point, but has been chipping away for years. The single stall is made of plywood, yes, plywood, and contains a single broken toilet, complete with its own plunger and a handwritten sign telling users not to flush too much stuff down the toilet. The low ceiling has exposed pipes and wires hanging from it, and the single urinal comes complete with a drop bucket underneath it to collect any leaks. The exposed water pipe has been insulated with electrical tape, styrofoam and tinfoil. Multiple bottles are strewn around, including one spray bottle that is marked "Speedball." This is just one sight you’ll have to see for yourself. Although we had seen a lot of bad stuff in a lot of bathrooms, it was the bathroom in Dalton’s basement that we almost pissed ourselves laughing. In fact, I think both of us would have rather pissed ourselves laughing than be forced to utilize the facilities in this sad excuse for a washroom. Ugh.
Have a good one!
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
...And now for something completely different: The Bathroom Edition - Part I (#06)
(by Ryan Gallant and Adam Carragher)
So you may be asking yourself, "What the hell are these guys doing writing about bathrooms? Don’t they know that I rely on this column for all my weekly news?" First of all, that is very, very sad. Secondly, this issue should matter to you. Studies show that the average person spends about 7 years in the bathroom over the span of their lifetime. This should astound most readers because a) 7 years is a long time to spend on the can, and b) because I just came up with this figure off the top of my head.
Either way, my good friend Adam Carragher and I have taken time out of our incredibly busy social lives to inspect 35 bathrooms here on campus. These are their stories.
Our journey begins in the Sports Centre. One glaring finding of our survey was that every bathroom seems to have its own character, specific to the function that it serves. For example, the men’s locker room bathroom practically reeks of testosterone. First of all, it doesn’t have a door, seeming to declare with a great deal of machismo; "Door? I don’t need no damn door." These washrooms have always freaked me out a bit. Other than the obvious lack of a door, the taps suck, and seem to have no real control over the speed or amount of water that sprays into the sink, often with sporadic rage. Plus there are also always some random 50 year old naked guys roaming around. This bathroom, yes, is odd, but was not bad enough overall to make it onto the list of the worst bathrooms on campus.
The bathrooms in the Nursing Faculty were pretty hard to find and did not seem to want to accommodate men very well. Sure, there were two bathrooms, but only the women’s bathroom was designated to a specific gender. The only way guys are able to answer the call of nature in this Faculty is to use a unisex bathroom that is wedged in a corner between a Doritos machine and a photocopier. No wonder men don’t want to become nurses. So unless you like a snack when you’re in the lavatory, or enjoy photocopying your ass once in awhile, these facilities are not for you. In addition, it smelled like a dentists’ office. This bathroom garnered top marks as the hardest to find, and is without a doubt the most sexist bathroom at UPEI.
Dalton Hall has the weirdest mix of bathrooms on earth. The building is weird enough, with the Rustico wharf of a wheelchair ramp out front, and the multiple signs on the front door warning you to not smoke and to ‘Watch out for icicles,’ and to ‘Try not to kill people with your allergens.’ The washroom on the top floor has a sign on the door as well. This one warns: "Knock first, then lock the door behind you." Like it’s part of some crazy bathroom cult. The ground-floor bathroom also exemplifies washroom paranoia. There are at least four signs in this bathroom, warning you to do all sorts of things, from not flushing paper towel down the toilet to getting your regular flu shots. One sign notes: "In effort to curb another outbreak of SARS, may we remind you to get a flu shot, and to wash your hands often." This should be your first clue that Dalton Hall is NOT a science faculty building. 1) SARS has never reached P.E.I., and any renewed outbreak has been confined to Beijing. 2) You should probably be washing your hands anyway, seeing as this building has a foods lab and 3) Flu shots do not protect you against SARS. They protect you against the flu. Hence the name.
The bathrooms of Main are known for their spacious comfort and modernity. However on the day we conducted our survey, the strong smell of cannabis was apparent in one of the bathrooms. So this is the Arts building, is it?. In the basement bathroom, a political debate has been raging on the walls for years. An anti-pesticide sticker is stuck to the mirror, and one stall has been ravaged with graffiti. One stall user has hailed bodily functions as being "petty bourgeoisie" and orders everyone to "stop pissing for the man", while others sing the praises of corporate and capitalist society, often with crudely drawn cartoons. (Viewer Discretion is Advised.) Others have ignored the ideological debate and have resorted to writing out passages of biblical scripture. Though a bit out of the way, this bathroom is without a doubt the most entertaining one on campus.
Memorial Hall has some interesting ideas on how to organize a bathroom as well. In this washroom, the urinals are located in their own little room with a swinging door covering about one-third of its entrance. For all you ladies who may unfamiliar with normal urinal placement, this arrangement is highly unorthodox. These urinals are like 2 inches apart, seeming to ignore the ample amount of space presented in this ‘urinal room’. This room and these doors seem to serve no logical purpose. Be it coincidental or not, Memorial happens to be home to the Faculty of Psychology, and this messed up bathroom concept serves no other purpose than to screw with one’s mind. That place is really frigging weird.
Stay tuned next week to find out the absolute worst bathrooms here on campus.
Have a good one!
So you may be asking yourself, "What the hell are these guys doing writing about bathrooms? Don’t they know that I rely on this column for all my weekly news?" First of all, that is very, very sad. Secondly, this issue should matter to you. Studies show that the average person spends about 7 years in the bathroom over the span of their lifetime. This should astound most readers because a) 7 years is a long time to spend on the can, and b) because I just came up with this figure off the top of my head.
Either way, my good friend Adam Carragher and I have taken time out of our incredibly busy social lives to inspect 35 bathrooms here on campus. These are their stories.
Our journey begins in the Sports Centre. One glaring finding of our survey was that every bathroom seems to have its own character, specific to the function that it serves. For example, the men’s locker room bathroom practically reeks of testosterone. First of all, it doesn’t have a door, seeming to declare with a great deal of machismo; "Door? I don’t need no damn door." These washrooms have always freaked me out a bit. Other than the obvious lack of a door, the taps suck, and seem to have no real control over the speed or amount of water that sprays into the sink, often with sporadic rage. Plus there are also always some random 50 year old naked guys roaming around. This bathroom, yes, is odd, but was not bad enough overall to make it onto the list of the worst bathrooms on campus.
The bathrooms in the Nursing Faculty were pretty hard to find and did not seem to want to accommodate men very well. Sure, there were two bathrooms, but only the women’s bathroom was designated to a specific gender. The only way guys are able to answer the call of nature in this Faculty is to use a unisex bathroom that is wedged in a corner between a Doritos machine and a photocopier. No wonder men don’t want to become nurses. So unless you like a snack when you’re in the lavatory, or enjoy photocopying your ass once in awhile, these facilities are not for you. In addition, it smelled like a dentists’ office. This bathroom garnered top marks as the hardest to find, and is without a doubt the most sexist bathroom at UPEI.
Dalton Hall has the weirdest mix of bathrooms on earth. The building is weird enough, with the Rustico wharf of a wheelchair ramp out front, and the multiple signs on the front door warning you to not smoke and to ‘Watch out for icicles,’ and to ‘Try not to kill people with your allergens.’ The washroom on the top floor has a sign on the door as well. This one warns: "Knock first, then lock the door behind you." Like it’s part of some crazy bathroom cult. The ground-floor bathroom also exemplifies washroom paranoia. There are at least four signs in this bathroom, warning you to do all sorts of things, from not flushing paper towel down the toilet to getting your regular flu shots. One sign notes: "In effort to curb another outbreak of SARS, may we remind you to get a flu shot, and to wash your hands often." This should be your first clue that Dalton Hall is NOT a science faculty building. 1) SARS has never reached P.E.I., and any renewed outbreak has been confined to Beijing. 2) You should probably be washing your hands anyway, seeing as this building has a foods lab and 3) Flu shots do not protect you against SARS. They protect you against the flu. Hence the name.
The bathrooms of Main are known for their spacious comfort and modernity. However on the day we conducted our survey, the strong smell of cannabis was apparent in one of the bathrooms. So this is the Arts building, is it?. In the basement bathroom, a political debate has been raging on the walls for years. An anti-pesticide sticker is stuck to the mirror, and one stall has been ravaged with graffiti. One stall user has hailed bodily functions as being "petty bourgeoisie" and orders everyone to "stop pissing for the man", while others sing the praises of corporate and capitalist society, often with crudely drawn cartoons. (Viewer Discretion is Advised.) Others have ignored the ideological debate and have resorted to writing out passages of biblical scripture. Though a bit out of the way, this bathroom is without a doubt the most entertaining one on campus.
Memorial Hall has some interesting ideas on how to organize a bathroom as well. In this washroom, the urinals are located in their own little room with a swinging door covering about one-third of its entrance. For all you ladies who may unfamiliar with normal urinal placement, this arrangement is highly unorthodox. These urinals are like 2 inches apart, seeming to ignore the ample amount of space presented in this ‘urinal room’. This room and these doors seem to serve no logical purpose. Be it coincidental or not, Memorial happens to be home to the Faculty of Psychology, and this messed up bathroom concept serves no other purpose than to screw with one’s mind. That place is really frigging weird.
Stay tuned next week to find out the absolute worst bathrooms here on campus.
Have a good one!
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