Well, good old Air Canada has decided to discontinue serving complimentary snacks on their flights. Fine! Keep your damn sesame snacks. It’s not enough that we have to pay $200 to get off this damn island on those Dash 8 Puddle Jumpers, (which, by the way, are not the best plane to fly, take-off, or land in, during rain, wind, snow, or basically in any flight that the plane has to actually leave the ground) but now I get to starve in-flight too. This whole flying experience pisses me off. It doesn’t make it any better that flight attendants talk to me as if I was a 3 year old with ADD and smiles, while her eyes suggest that they would much rather stab me with a fork than get me another water. And when flights are over, no one ever seems to be in any kind of rush to get off the damn plane. Suddenly seemingly simple tasks, such as picking up a briefcase and walking, take the average air traveler upwards of 4 and a half months. (The wait was so long on a recent flight that a friend and I took the time to compose an entire song entitled “Pick up your shit, and get off the plane.”) Of course, I guess it’s not only Air Canada that has recently “sucked ass” in its customer service. CanJet, in addition to allowing 3.4 square inches for legroom, also provides perhaps the most unprofessional flight crews in the industry and aircraft that are about as comfortable as a refurbished Soviet bomber.
The al-Qaeda came out last week to justify bombings last summer (which is stupid to try to justify to your average mentally sane person in the first place) by telling the world that one of the most severe enemies of Islam is, you guessed it, Queen Elizabeth II. Yes, Osama has apparently fingered Queen Elizabeth as one of the “severest enemies of Islam.” Yep. An 80 year old woman is a “severe threat” to the entire Islamic community. I think I speak for everyone when I say: “You are out of your mind.” What the hell has she done to Islam? I’m pretty sure all she does is drive around and wave at people. The Queen is about as much of a threat to Islam as Lamb Chops is. And she’s dead.
Yay! Ricky Martin is back! Wonderful. Does anyone else give a crap? I thought we were done of this nonsense. And the ridiculously obnoxious pop/dance is really improved by the incredibly imaginative lyrics of this genius: “Shake your bon-bon, Shake your bon-bon, Shake your bon-bon, Up in the Himalayas, C’mon I wanna lay ya.” The complex videos with that moronic hack Enrique macking it up with famous teenage girls are pretty classy too. “You can run, you can hide but you can't escape my love”? Stalker much? Real healthy there freakshow. Frig off.
Canadians came out and celebrated Remembrance Day this past week in honour of veterans who have fought for our country in conflicts around the world. I am always touched by the thunderous applause for the increasingly aging and increasing small number of veterans as they march through Charlottetown. Sadly, this year also marked the first time that there were no World War I veterans at Ottawa’s Remembrance Day ceremonies. Not only is this a shocking reality check to see that the young men who fought and won at Vimy and Passchendaele and the Somme are all but gone, but it is also a compelling reminder of why it is important for us to remember those heroes who gave much of themselves for us.
Apparently, however, some people are dumbasses about the whole Remembrance Day thing. Myron’s, as a shining example for ethical businesses everywhere, deemed it tasteful to erect a display in their window complete with GI Joe action figures in US Marines combat gear and with Desert Storm camo. One of the figures was in police riot gear. What the hell is he supposed to represent? The Souris Wharf conflict? I’m sorry, I know people think that it’s the thought that counts and all that crap, but I take the remembrance of fallen Canadians very seriously, and I don’t think it is something to be taken lightly or to make fun of. Veterans didn’t fight and die for their contribution to our country to be trivialized and no one has the right to disrespect their honour.
Lest we forget.
Have a good one!
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